blithey_chen16

…I just feel so lost right at this stage of my life…im not sure if im ready to accept the new challenges that life is offering me… im not sure if im ready to be an adult and accept responsibilities..i don’t wanna be selfish and not accept this challenge but im pretty damn scared of what may happen…..im sure everyone has this particular stage of their lives where u feel like ur losing ur self to be somebody else that life chooses u to be….I don’t wanna loose me cause i love who i am but i need to grow up i just don’t know how..pretty funny huh? i know! I just feel dat when im close to doing something dat i was sure of and then when it comes i don’t know if i want to do it and end up being scared and being so unsure and unhappy…..

I just wanna be happy..im sure everyone does….but it’s so hard to find happiness when u feel so alone and far from the people that u love…i feel like a little kid who just wanna run away and wait for d time dat i would grow up and be ready to accept the challenges that life is offering me… I just don’t know if this is the right time for me….I don’t wanna be scared anymore but i just can’t help it…what if im not gonna make it? What if i fail? I know failure is a part of life and dat would make u a lot stronger but i just don’t know how to accept it AGAIN…I don’t know if i would be able to handle it and move on…

I just miss my old self..the bubbly and happy kind of person who just take life as it is..contented, child-like and see the world as a happy place…I feel like im slowly losing it and i don’t wanna end being so unhappy of everything, in every aspect of my life… i don’t wanna end up not liking myself because of d person dat life chooses me to be…I don’t want to!! But how am i supposed to fight to not lose it? I don’t even know where to begin… I feel so empty…so unsure…

I hope dat i find the strength to go on without losing ME… I hope dat i find dat happiness within me..and i hope dat i would GROW UP and be emotionally mature…and i just hope dat someday i would find what i’ve been looking for and be sure of something and be happy with it for once….

It’s quite bizarre to feel like this…and i hope dat someday i can be who i want to be…and not be scared of anything that life would offer me and still be happy and strong..whatever may happen…It’s very naive of me to say that but i just wanna be that PERSON….who doesn’t?